elevator pitches
by AGENT Kuma-chan
Summary: Kaoru the rookie detective. Haruhi the upcoming lawyer. Tamaki the procrastinating student. Kyoya's story interweaved with the others, connecting him whether he liked it or not.


**Title:** elevator pitches

**Character/Pairing:** Kaoru/Kyoya, Tamaki/Kyoya, Haruhi/Kyoya

**A/N:** Written for the Ouran Host Club Music Zine. Somehow Kyoya ended up being the centerpiece for the fic. You should check out the beautiful artwork that went with my piece.

**Summary: **_Kaoru the rookie detective. Haruhi the upcoming lawyer. Tamaki the procrastinating student. Kyoya's story interweaved with the others, connecting him whether he liked it or not._

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**I.** **The Detective**

The room was a mess. No, that was an understatement. The room was a disaster zone.

Kaoru shifted the box of papers in his arms as he searched for an empty space to deposit his load. Every free inch of space was occupied with stacks upon stacks of papers and evidence scattered throughout the room. Even the floor was not immune to the mess and he almost danced his way to the table. The place no longer resembled a meeting room in the least.

"Where should I put this?" he finally asked, giving up after a frantic scan revealed there really were no clear spots.

His partner pointed to a box on his left without looking up from the paper he was reading. "On top of that."

Even his voice was distant and commanding. Kaoru held back a sigh; he had heard that Kyoya was a hard detective to work with but he hadn't realized just what that meant till now. They've been partners for almost a week now and he could count the number of times they had a proper talk on one hand. Kyoya had indicated a tower of boxes, which swayed precariously as Kaoru placed his box atop of it all. Carefully, he adjusted the column to prevent it from toppling. "Anything I should do?"

"Your job," was the only cutting remark given and really, Kyoya had no intention of helping a rookie out at all. Kaoru bit back a sharp retort; it wouldn't help him to get the ace detective angry.

Maybe he could go out with Hikaru later and get some drinks. Some strong, stiff drinks.

In the meantime, he might as well see if there was anything left to do. Maneuvering slowly through the room, he started to examine the evidence around him. There were research papers and photographs and something that looked suspiciously like a tutu. Small sticky notes stuck out between pages and perhaps there was more order to this madness than he thought. Even the witness statements were organized in order of most relevant to least.

His partner wasn't big on social niceties but he was very meticulous. The kind of guy who only paid attention to results. Kaoru could work with that; he had long since learned how to play others like a fiddle and it wouldn't be too hard to find what makes Kyoya tick. From the documents Kaoru had to recently collect, the majority of them were on the old heritage section of the city. Several old apartments, a theatre, and a series of museums were at the heart of that district. The crime scene was nowhere close to any of those places, but if he overlaid the subway system over the city map, the theatre made a good hideout. With that in mind, he started to gather the witness statements from the theatre troupe and their schedules and performance dates.

He'd gather all of the data and Kyoya would not only be surprised but also impressed. He'd show he was more than a rookie and that he should be taken seriously and—

Kyoya's voice cut through his thoughts. "Is that _Dancing Queen_?"

Kaoru snapped his attention towards Kyoya, who was finally looking up from his papers. His glasses were slightly askew, just waiting to be adjusted. A moment of processing and Kaoru used his top-grade detective skills to very articulately answer, "Huh?"

"You were humming," Kyoya clarified, more patient than he expected.

Kaoru blinked, unconsciously touching his lips. Had he been? Shaking himself out of his stupor, he nodded. "The theatre was performing _Mamma Mia_ the week of the crime."

"The theatre?" Kyoya lowered his gaze, noticing the documents in Kaoru's hands. "Why were you looking into them?"

"You're looking at the old heritage sights and the theatre aligns best with a subway getaway," Kaoru explained, setting the stack in front of his partner. "I grabbed all of the witness statements and their schedules."

Silence. All that got him was silence and he started to second guess his actions. He remembered the order to the stacks, the tabbed notes and sticky notes. Maybe he shouldn't have messed with the system. Hell, maybe he had guessed wrong entirely.

"I'll put it—"

A hand stopped him from picking up the stack again. "No, it's fine." Kyoya was looking at him now, scrutinizing him. There was something deliberate about the way he stared, in how he formed his words. "Kaoru, was it?"

His hand was warm where they touched and he could only nod, not trusting his voice.

"Decent work for your experience level." Kyoya's eyes never left his, even as he let go of him and reached for the papers. He was searching for something and Kaoru straightened his back, hoping not to leave him wanting. "I wasn't expecting you to figure that out."

Praise? Kaoru stared at Kyoya but the man merely started to flip through the papers, already focused on the next stage of the investigation. His hand was long gone but he could still feel the intensity of his gaze, the heat of his skin. He took back everything he said earlier—he might know how to manipulate others, but this man was a master at it.

Still, he was never one to back down from a challenge, even if he should. Pulling out one of the witness statements, he started to examine it carefully, noting down any clues he found.

Maybe he'd find the criminal before Kyoya. Imagine his surprised face then.

-x-

**II. The Businessman**

Haruhi pushed the down button. Rolling her shoulders, she looked around the elevator lobby. There was an extravagant feel to it, just like the rest of the building. One side was stained glass doors leading to her employer's office. On the other, a giant window with a view of the city. A pair of white armchairs with a table between were positioned next to the seat with a complimentary champagne bottle and glasses.

She could not understand the rich. It was a waste of money since she'd seen that bottle get replaced almost hourly depending on the clientele. At the least the view was great.

"Haruhi."

The voice surprised her and Haruhi snapped her attention back to the office doors, or rather to the man coming out of the doors. It seemed Kyoya did sleep after all.

"Of course I do," he replied in a deadpan voice. Whoops, she had said that aloud.

Logically, despite being a department head and favourite to be the next CEO, Kyoya was human. And humans did require sleep and food. Looking him over quickly, she noticed that his shirt's top button was open and his tie loose.

"So even you can relax," she added and perhaps she shouldn't have said that one out loud either. Her law teachers had told her once that while her honest streak was admirable, it was a hindrance in the court.

More importantly, a hindrance in life.

He stared at her, mild curiosity painted across his face. "Should a lawyer really say that to their client?"

"Perhaps not," she admitted, shrugging. The elevator floor number slowly increased. It would not save her from this conversation or anything she said. "But you aren't retaining me. The company is."

His brow raised a fraction before his expression settled into a small smirk. "True, but I do have some say on who we employ."

Haruhi bit her cheek and looked away. Now she was playing with fire and since this was her first job after law school, she wasn't keen on losing it so quickly. Quietly, she murmured, "Right."

"I've never seen anyone make so many blunders in a single conversation before. And it's been," Kyoya's gaze flickered to his watch. "Only two minutes since we started talking."

She wasn't quite sure if he wanted an apology or not. The amused look in his eyes said otherwise, even if his words were cutting. "Two minutes is a long time—the elevator hasn't even made it to our floor."

"Were you timing the elevator?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Just since you—"

Luckily, the elevator dinged as its doors opened, interrupting her before she could finish, and she gratefully stepped inside. Only to have him follow immediately after. Any awkwardness they had outside was compounded by the small room. He neatly settled in next to her, barely a hair length away. Kyoya pressed the button for the fifth floor and she looked at him, impressed. "And I thought I had no life."

He raised an eyebrow and she resisted the urge to cover her mouth. _Playing with fire. Right._ She really needed to learn control. Fortunately, he left it alone with a single snipe. "I suppose you don't."

There was little she could say against that.

After a moment he added,"Considering our latest lawsuit, I need to double check our records."

"Oh. I should join you then." Haruhi suppressed a sigh; there went her chance to finally get home at a reasonable time. She didn't have to look at her wristwatch to know it was past eight. "There were a few things I wanted to check."

"A hard worker, huh?" Kyoya shifted slightly, his gaze inscrutable. "I was right to hire you."

That surprised her. "You were part of the—" Her stomach grumbled and Haruhi flushed a deep red. She stared steadfast at the door. "Ignore that."

"Was that—"

"Don't ask," she repeated forcefully.

From the corner of her eye, she could see the bastard repressing a laugh. It seemed every part of her was honest, even her stomach. Maybe the other lawyers were right.

"I guess it is dinner time." Kyoya pulled out his phone, typing out a text. "I'll have something delivered."

She rummaged through her purse. "I should have some cash on me."

Still focused on his phone, he dismissed the idea entirely. "Not needed."

"I can pay for my share."

"You're not staying. I'm not paying the extra hours." Kyoya glanced at her. "Besides, you'll burn yourself out if you keep staying so late."

Haruhi stared at him. The elevator music filled the silence, the sound of _Dancing Queen _softly filling the room. The cheerful song did little to alleviate the tension.

Turning back to his phone, he amended, "It's a little late in the case to hire a new lawyer."

The clarification sounded about right. Deflated, she looked back to the doors. "I think you'll overwork yourself first."

"Not a chance." Kyoya straightened his collar and closed his top button. While soft, his voice was firm and adamant. "Not at this stage."

Ambition. She had expected the goal but not quite the passion behind it. Then again, considering how often she saw his office light on after hours, maybe she should have expected it. People never pushed that hard without something fueling them on.

"Famous last words," she muttered and he scoffed. It wasn't quite a laugh but it spooked her all the same.

"Do you think so?" He turned to her and she stared, transfixed. There was something predatory in his gaze, in his smile. A thousand deals were closed on this expression alone. "Want to make a bet?"

Haruhi swallowed. She had seen enough people fail against him to know her chances of victory. "I…"

The elevator dinged all too soon and Kyoya stepped forward. His hand brushed against hers as he passed. "Maybe next time then."

"Yeah." Oddly enough, she looked forward to it.

-x-

**III. The Student**

"Stop." Kyoya looked up from the textbook, shooting Tamaki a glare. He had agreed to bring out the kotatsu for a single reason: he'd be left alone long enough to finish studying for his entrance exams.

Usually, that was a non-issue. The second the kotatsu was out, Tamaki would burrow into it and promptly lose the will to do anything else. For once, the idiot's lunacy surpassed the kotatsu's powers, leading him to narrate a series of stories. A series of stories that, for some reason, involved Kyoya.

"Huh?" Tamaki cocked his head, confused. "Why?"

Kyoya rubbed his brow. Only the idiot could stare at all the textbooks and ask that question. "I'm studying. What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you study!" Tamaki beamed from across the table, his chin on his hands. Every part of him was vibrating and he seemed to dance as he leaned left and right repeatedly. "These are potential 'what-ifs'! Think of the future you could have!"

"The future I could have?" Kyoya repeated, not following his thought process.

"Well, once you're in university you can become anything, right? And meet new people. So you could be a cop or you could take over your father's hospital or—" Tamaki rattled off implausible scenario after implausible scenario.

Honestly, he should have expected this. At least he stopped him after that second story, the laundry list of clichés was getting tiresome. Closing his book, he gave his friend a deadpan stare. "I already know Haruhi and Kaoru."

"Well, I'm using them as stand-ins. It could be anyone else." Undeterred, Tamaki reached for an orange on the table and slowly peeled it. "It's just possibilities."

"The romance scenarios?" he prodded, calculating exactly what damages Tamaki would owe him. Should he punish him? Not that it would stop Tamaki from pulling this again. Nothing could really stop him when he went wild.

"Well, everyone likes a good romance story." Tamaki said dramatically before he hugged himself, flinging his head back as he plopped on the ground. "The drama, the love, how it moves the soul!" His hand reached for the ceiling.

Kyoya sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The punishment it was then. "And if Haruhi or Kaoru heard that?"

Tamaki froze. He stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, barely blinking, before sitting up. He leaned forward. Quietly, "Don't tell them."

"Is that an order?" Kyoya raised a brow and Tamaki balked.

"Please don't tell them?" He rested his chin on the table, staring at him imploringly. His eyes were wide and watery and Kyoya could sense a headache coming up. A hand reached out to grip his. "I'll do anything."

Kyoya stared at Tamaki's hand before sighing and relenting. Gripping it back, he gave him a stern look. "Then these stories will...?"

"Immediately stop, I promise." Tamaki shook his head quickly. Beaming, he withdrew and split his peeled orange. Plopping a slice in his mouth, he moaned happily. "The best food for a kotatsu. Want one?"

"Pass." Kyoya opened his book once more. There were only a few hours left in the day and he really wanted to get to the fifth chapter before bedtime. Before he could read more than a few lines, an orange slice was waved in front of his mouth.

"Just one?" Tamaki offered.

It was sometimes easier to just accept it than to fight it. Relenting, he opened his mouth. Tamaki's smile broadened. As promised, he returned back to his own interests, creating small flowers out of the peels. Under his breath, he hummed softly. A familiar song Kyoya had heard three times today now.

"That song... you really like it, don't you?" Kyoya commented offhandedly as he skimmed a page.

Under the kotatsu, Tamaki's feet started to dance. Every part of him bobbed to an invisible beat. He cocked his head. "What makes you say that?"

Of course the idiot wouldn't notice. "It was in every one of your stories."

"Ohhh! You're like a detective! And you _were _paying attention!" Tamaki glowed. If it were possible to bounce while sitting, he did so. "Oh, what if you were a detective and Mori was your assistant—"

"Tamaki."

"Right, right, I promised." He went back to eating, still humming the tune. "I'll keep quiet, like a spy."

Kyoya sighed and started to count down to next outburst. It was impossible to stop Tamaki when he was into something. Still, he hadn't delivered his punishment. Offhandedly, he casually added, "We are not going to see _Mamma Mia_."

Tamaki froze, his humming instantly cut off. Pale, he opened and closed his mouth silently.

Ah, if he knew that was what it took, Kyoya would have said it hours ago.


End file.
